An Open Letter to Tom Shane

Dear Tom Shane,

I've been listening to the radio for a long time. In the days of CDs, before iPods and Napster, the radio was how I kept myself entertained. Radio is how I decided which CDs I would buy with my paper route money. Radio is what I rocked out to while I was driving. These were the carefree days of my life. This was my youth.

But these memories are marred by your voice.

Yes, I'm talking to you Tom Shane of the Shane Company. Your radio ads are probably the most annoying thing I've ever heard. Not only are they annoying, they're frequent and they're always exactly the same. I'm sure this is intended, either out of laziness or the misguided notion that this is an effective advertising method. Well I'll tell you a little secret. People respond more to creativity, variety (have you heard of Youtube?), and even some voice inflection. But no, it's always just the same monotone you.

You're probably thinking that I'm an ungrateful jerk, that I should be thanking you for the countless hours of entertainment on your dime. I understand that radio is financially free to me. But I pay for it. I pay with my time. The time that I spend listening to your incessant ads between songs is a real cost to me. It cost me a piece of my youth that's scarred by you hocking your jewelry from as far back as I can remember.

Tom, I want to tell you a sad story. I got an iPod for Christmas from my mom and filled it up with a modest 6 gigs of music (thanks Dehn). It was a faithful music companion for almost 2 years. Then I got an iPhone, and I love it just as much. I was sad to find that since my computer died before I could sync my phone to it, I lost the music and it's stuck on my iPod. Then I discovered Pandora radio, and haven't looked back. It's just like the radio I used to love, but full of only songs that I like. Unfortunately, the worst happened. When I thought I was completely safe from your emotionless robo-voice, I heard it again from the sanctity and safety of my iPhone, over Pandora radio.

Do you really think that any attention is good attention? Well you're wrong, there is such a thing as too much. You hit that about 10 years ago. Sure, I've long since memorized your address in downtown Seattle. That helps me to avoid it easier. Do you think irritating an entire country is a positive thing? Where is your soul.

As much as I hope for the economy to recover I was happy to hear you filed for bankruptcy last year. You're failing in a business where your average markups are over 800%. With margins like that you should be able to float a business that sells books on tape to deaf schools. I hate to say I told you so, except if I'm saying it to you.

Now you have a friend in the blogging business.

From the corner of 4th and Center,
Mike

P.S. Are you the guy from the Men's Wearhouse commercials too, or is that your brother or something?